Are you sick of p meaning “play soft”? Does sight-reading at mf seem too mundane? Here are some new and improved ways to interpret your music!
p — Roll around on the ground and act like a train
mp — Do cartwheels into a chalkboard
mf — Attach a zebra to your face with a paperclip
f — Envision yourself as a stork, poised to take the skies in flight. Oh, and you have just swallowed a clock.
And of course:
pp — Sew pyjamas onto llamas by the light of the crescent moon
ppp — The stage is a grocery store. As quietly as you can, purchase almond paste from the person to your left.
ff — Just play low C while slapping people upside the head
fff — See ff. Add grizzly bear costume.