I HAVE REDEFINED DYNAMIC MARKINGS! 9/20/11

Are you sick of p meaning “play soft”?  Does sight-reading at mf seem too mundane?  Here are some new and improved ways to interpret your music!

p  —  Roll around on the ground and act like a train

mp  —  Do cartwheels into a chalkboard

mf  —  Attach a zebra to your face with a paperclip

f  —  Envision yourself as a stork, poised to take the skies in flight.  Oh, and you have just swallowed a clock.

And of course:

pp  —  Sew pyjamas onto llamas by the light of the crescent moon

ppp  —  The stage is a grocery store.  As quietly as you can, purchase almond paste from the person to your left.

ff  —  Just play low C while slapping people upside the head

fff  —  See ff.  Add grizzly bear costume.

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