How to Put on a Recital

24 Easy And Simple Steps for All Music Majors

1.  Decide you need to have a recital

2.  Pick a date and time for your recital.  If someone picks the same date and time, challenge them to a wrestling match and win.

3.  Find out that recitals cost money if you have them in Gore Recital Hall.

4.  Plan to have your recital on the roof of the Center For the Arts

5.  Pick music.  Make sure your “fun” piece tops all of your friend’s “fun” pieces.

6.  Make your entire recital “fun”.

7.  Hold open auditions for an accompanist.  They must be able to do a split.  Spelunking and yodeling experience highly recommended.

8.   Practice.  Make sure you refine your flame throwing technique.

9.   Consider entering a hippity-hop marathon to gain stamina.

10.  Obtain forklift so you can get whale up on roof.

11.  Practice.  Work on poise, balance, and rodeo skills.

12.  Don’t forget to rent the moonbounce.

13.  Recruit the world’s largest muffin company to cater the reception.  Order the most elaborate muffin sculpture they will agree to construct for you.

14.  Rob a bank for necessary funds.

15.  Select outfit, program costume changes as needed.  Stay with a theme!  If your recital is on your birthday, than your birthday suit would be an appropriate costume choice.  Other outfit ideas: household appliances, footsie pajamas, bumblebee costume, or anything from Star Wars.

16.  Practice.  Practice.  Practice.  Your barrel roll should be perfect by now.

17.  Dress Rehearsal.  Make sure to hold in a secret location accessible only by swimming and/or wormhole.

18.  On the day of the recital, make sure you get there early so you can set up the venue.  Make sure there are enough chairs for the audience.  Make sure the unicorns get a chance to stretch.  And above all, test bounce your moonbounce.  The most important aspect of any recital is the bounciness of the moonbounce.  The Moonbounce. Is. Key.

19.  You and your accompanist must enter stage via lazy river to begin the performance.

20.  Marching band performs at half time—er, intermission

21.  Grand finale, featuring a flying trapeze, kazoo quintet, Mt. St. Helens, and a massive sing along.

22.  Thunderous applause.

23.  Run from law enforcement.

24.  Move to Turkmenistan, change name.  Collect mail order bride, settle down and raise a family of singing gnomes.

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